


Dear Jeffrey

by redmacallan



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: M/M, there's greff if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:06:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5306744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redmacallan/pseuds/redmacallan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is afraid. </p><p>Not of anything in particular, just that he'll have to cancel his meeting with Jeff. Jeff is not aware of this. </p><p>Fighting ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Jeffrey

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this post: http://and-down-we-go.tumblr.com/post/64069375909/my-mom-just-accidentally-prematurely-sent-an-email and a lot of help from siriusblack84.

The whole situation could have been very easily avoided had Ryan done the very simple task of continuing not to have an email.

 

Jeff wouldn’t have been able to convince his past self of that fact, because his past self was terrible at picturing what could go wrong with giving someone who once had to be bribed into texting a way of communicating with the outside world.

 

The outside world being Jeff.

 

More specifically, Jeff on a plane, because he’d had to turn off his texts, due to the word lol apparently having the power to destroy a small metal tank several miles above the earth. He still had wifi though- that was on the plane, so his emails still showed up.

 

His phone showed a notification. Email from Ryan, it said.

 

 **Dear Jeffrey** , the email read. **I am afraid**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

Jeff would, usually, have considered himself fairly eloquent, and certainly considered himself the sort of person who would be able to say something clever in a crisis.

 

At this moment, however, the only thing he could think was _what._

 

He stared at the phone for thirty seconds or so, trying to figure out what the hell Ryan was talking about until he came up with the only possible solution.

 

 _Oh,_ he thought. _That._

 

They hadn’t exactly been subtle about it. Sneaking off after shows, the number of in-jokes multiplying to the point where it was hard to talk to both of them without most of the conversation being them looking pointedly at each other, compliments when they thought everyone else couldn’t hear. He was pretty sure Greg had said he’d actually seen them.

 

_They’re still my friends though. That’s not gonna change if they go public._

 

He opened up a reply and tapped in his first sentence. **Don’t worry, Ryan. I’m still here for both of you.**

 

 _Not much of a reason to be afraid though, is it?_   He tried to think of everyone Ryan could possibly be actually afraid of. Certainly not any of the cast, since they’d have confronted both him and Colin if there’d been a problem years ago.

 

Pat, maybe? She seemed like the sort of person who’d know what was going on at the first sign, but maybe Ryan had been concealing it better around her up until now. Maybe she’d found out.

 

_Shit. That’s why he’s scared._

 

**If you need somewhere to stay, you know where to find me. Does Deb know?**

 

He signed his name and hit send. Hopefully Ryan would be okay in time for the next taping. It’d royally mess things up if he couldn’t make it.

 

A few minutes later, the message came back.

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**What? I said we need to cancel our meeting. Where does Deb come into this?**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

Jeff mentally slapped himself.

 

_Trust him to press the enter key early and make me jump to conclusions. And wait, we had a meeting?_

_And then, I should probably apologise._

 

**Sorry. I thought you meant something else. And when was the meeting?**

 

Ryan took a few minutes to reply.

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**The one we arranged for today? I told you about it a couple of weeks ago, right? We have to cancel, something’s come up.**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

He was getting really sick of that bit at the end now.

 

**Okay. I didn’t know it was a thing though. Are you gonna be able to make the tapings?**

 

_If I show concern, maybe he’ll forget I mentioned the whole Colin thing. Not that I said it was Colin. He’ll have figured it out though, won’t he?_

_Overthinking’s what got me here in the first place._

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**Of course. It’s just a one-off and I needed to meet up with someone.**

**Why did you mention Deb in your first message, though?**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

Well, fuck.

 

The person sitting next to Jeff stood up and had to step over him to go to the bathroom, so Jeff put his phone away for a second. He needed a moment anyway.

 

The bathroom door shut. Jeff took out his phone again.

 

**I thought you and Colin were going public, and you were scared about that. Since it’s not what you were talking about, it doesn’t matter.**

 

 _That’s not going to make him drop the subject, you know_ , he told himself.

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**public with what**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

Jeff frowned into his phone. He checked to see if Bathroom Guy was still in the bathroom.

 

He was.

 

**As a couple? You haven’t hidden it very well, you know.**

 

Ryan’s reply was almost immediate.

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**shit you guys werent supposed to know**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

Jeff didn’t even get a chance to reply before Ryan sent another message.

 

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**im waiting at th airport for col we were going to tell everyone this wek**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

Jeff would have shouted his next message had Bathroom Guy not returned from the bathroom.

 

**YOU CANCELED OUR MEETING SO YOU COULD GO ON A DATE**

**Dear Jeffrey,**

**okay so i couldve planned this a bit better**

**Ryan Stiles**

**Sent from my iPhone**

 

**RYAN YOU HAVE HAD 30 YEARS TO PLAN THIS AND 30 MINUTES TO PREPARE FOR ME PUNCHING YOU AS SOON AS I GET OFF THIS PLANE**

 

Ryan sent him a few emails after that. Jeff ignored them, screencapped Ryan’s past emails and sent them to Greg with the message:

 

**Give me one good reason I shouldn’t fight him.**

 

To which Greg replied:

 

**dear jeffrey ;)**

**they won’t look as cute together if ry has a black eye. also colin could beat you up in defense**

**he’s pretty scary for a bald guy**

 

They were nearing the airport now.

 

**Don’t make me fight you as well.**

Greg messaged him again.

 

**so i sent the pictures to col and he is going to beat you up in defense**

**either that or he said aww and asked if i was okay with their relationship but possibly he is going to fight you**

**im bringing popcorn to the fight :D**

 

Jeff didn’t get any more messages for the rest of the trip, although when he got off the plane and turned on texts again he found that Colin had texted him a few times.

 

 _Screw it_ , he decided. _I’m here for a fight, so that’s what I’m gonna do._

 

Ryan was lurking outside of the airport, nursing a coffee in his hand and staring at his phone in his other hand.

 

Jeff marched up to him. “I’m here to fight and I don’t care if your boyfriend’s gonna retaliate or not.”

 

Ryan glanced up from his phone. “Hey, Jeff. Nice flight, then?”

 

“Don’t try to be casual with me,” replied Jeff. “You’re going down.”

 

Greg had come running up to the two of them during Jeff's last statement, panting after his sprint. “Usually it’s…” he huffed and trailed off, “Colin that’s going down.”

 

Jeff swung over in his direction, fist raised. “I meant what I said about fighting you earlier.” He glanced down at Greg’s hands. “You actually brought popcorn?!”

 

Greg grinned and tore open the packet. “Can’t watch all of you get beaten up on an empty stomach.”

 

Jeff scowled, sighed, and turned back to Ryan. “Tell me one thing before I punch you. Why the fuck did you keep starting your messages with Dear Jeffrey?!”

 

Ryan frowned back at him. “Because it’s your name.”

 

“And you’re the dearest of them all,” said Greg, munching through a mouthful of popcorn.

 

“That’s it,” said Jeff, pulling up his sleeves so they wouldn’t get in the way.

 

A few minutes later, nursing a bruised arm and at least a slightly hurt nose, Jeff decided that the power of hindsight would be really, really awesome.

 

After all, if he’d known that Colin was going to come in at that exact moment with his surprisingly muscular arms and ability to pin people taller than him to the ground in ways that could be either amusing or painful, he probably wouldn’t have punched Ryan. And if he’d known that after trying to get away from under Colin and failing, Greg would’ve laughed so hard he’d drop his popcorn, he probably would’ve just sat there and stuck it out.

 

Then again, Greg was there to laugh at him. He could’ve done anything and Greg would probably have dropped his popcorn, or his phone, or, if Jeff had taken long enough, a hip-hop album called Look At Jeff Fighting Ryan, My Homies.

 

The title needed some work.

 

“Sorry,” said Colin, walking back to Jeff and pulling out some band-aids from his pocket. “I couldn’t have you punching Ryan, though.”

 

 _Trust him to keep those around,_ Jeff thought in a way that managed to be bitter and affectionate at the same time. He marveled at his own ability to create emotions for a second before replying with, “It’s okay. I still kind of want to punch him though.”

 

Colin scoffed. “‘Cause he called you Jeffrey?”

 

“And canceled a meeting to make out with you.”

 

Greg dug out what little popcorn was left in the bag. “You didn’t even know about the meeting.”

 

“Also,” Ryan said, staring at Jeff with a slightly wary expression, “we’re not just going to kiss. Probably.”

 

“I can be annoyed on a basis of principle,” Jeff spat, trying to look angry while slapping on a band-aid. It didn’t work, and just hurt his arm more than anything.

 

“Sure you can,” said Colin. “Now if you don’t need any more band-aids, then my work is done here.” He looked up at Greg. “You gonna be okay to look after him for a bit?”

 

“If by look after him, you mean laugh at his failures and question his motives, then yep.”

 

Colin sighed and stood up. “You ready to go, Ry?”

 

“Huh?” Ryan looked up from his phone again, and seemed to get lost staring at Colin for a moment before snapping back to reality. “Yeah, I’m ready. See you,” he said, pausing for a moment to think of something, “ _dear_ Jeffrey.”

 

Greg and Jeff watched the two of them walk away, Jeff standing up shakily. His leg was hurt too, although he wasn’t sure where. Everywhere, it felt like.

 

“Ryan Stiles,” Greg muttered under his breath. “Sent from my iPhone.” He frowned. “My? Should it be his instead? Sent from his iPhone?”

 

“Colin’s no longer a threat and I still have a good set of reasons to do to you what I intended to do to Ryan,” Jeff said. “Now go buy me some food or something before I actually do that.”

 

“Point taken,” replied Greg.

 

“The points don’t matter,” replied Jeff, walking off down the street. “My stomach, on the other hand, does.”

 

 


End file.
